Those difficult times and thereafter…..

Hello everyone! Greetings 🖖  This is my first post after a year long break…

True enough, life is indeed unpredictable. It gives you the most dreadful unexpectedness when you least expect it. That’s what happened to me. Today, when I look back and remember, I still get the goosebumps, the tremble and chill. The misery I went through, will most likely follow me all throughout my life, or for a very long time. The past year was the most challenging and overwhelming for me. In those days, I used to put down my thoughts and feelings to my husband throughout his absence during the difficult times.

When we were about to go to bed, on the evening of 8th January 2021, around10.30 PM, after dinner and are routine talk, you complained of a headache. I advised you to take a pain reliever, and go to bed. But to my astonishment, you behaved a little different when you were lying on the bed. You asked me to get the tablet and water for you. When I was back from the kitchen with the glass of water, you couldn’t get up from the bed to have the medicine.The water gushed out from your mouth because you were unable to swallow. Then, all of a sudden, I could understand that something was wrong with you. You began to slur your words. Being a doctor myself, I came to know that you were having a transient ischaemic attack or maybe a stroke. I, immediately called emergency service and requested for an ambulance. I fumbled while speaking as I was very nervous. In the interim, I also called our next-door neighbour Jan, a 72 year old retired dutchman who is quite friendly and is fluent in English. When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics examined you and noticed that your left side of the body was immobile. However you were still trying to communicate and was conscious. They hurried you to the emergency room of the nearest hospital in Eindhoven where we reside. Both, Jan and I accompanied you to the hospital. In the ER, I was not allowed inside. We were both waiting outside. At around 11 o’clock, I asked Jan to go back home as he was quite tired and had recently recovered from cancer.

A little later, I was told that they gave you a Morphin injection for your headache and a CT scan was done. Although I was completely shaken, somehow I was calm, still holding on to my gut that things would be all okay. Once the CT scan report came, they confirmed to me that it’s a right brain hemorrhage, which is quite huge and with some strange findings. I was told that they had planned to shift you to a hospital in Tilburg, which is a nearby city, about 45-minute drive from Eindhoven. On top of my shock and cold shivers, I was confused and petrified by this whole chain of events. I was informed that they don’t have the expertise, so that is why you have to be referred to the Tilburg Hospital, which has a better neurological service. Moreover, I was told that your CT scan findings were quite confusing and the bleeding was huge.

Within minutes, the ambulance came and rushed us to Tilburg. Inside the ambulance, you were lying down, still in your senses, tired and awake, complaining of the headache and discomfort. I was sitting next to you and asking you to rest and reassuring you. By almost 12.30 am, we reached Elizabeth Hospital, Tilburg. They rushed you again to the ER. I was allowed to accompany you there. The neurosurgeon on duty examined you and did a scan again. She, too, told me about the right brain hemorrhage and some strange discovery that resulted in the massive bleeding. All the while, I was very worried and heartbroken from inside. I could not hold my tears, cried and felt so helpless. At that moment, I felt that I would lose you and that I had lost everything in life.

Still awake and tired, you were transferred to a medium-care unit to be kept under observation. You asked the nurse if I could stay with you in the room. I know I won’t be allowed in, so I assure you that I will keep waiting outside. During those painful hours, I called your father, back home in India, to inform him about the whole episode. He was totally shocked. I could not hold my tears and was crying on the phone. Then, I called and informed our son too. He was confused and could not believe his ears. He was terrified as well, as he knew that his dad was the fittest one in the family and had never had any kind of illness. I have no idea what went through him at that stage, as he was all alone at home. Due to COVID, he was in our apartment and not in his college hostel. I also informed my sister and my brother-in-law. By that time, it was almost 1.30 AM. I was told to go back home as you were kept under supervision and it was quite stable.

So, while boarding a taxi from Tilburg to Eindhoven, I realised that the coming days were going to be the toughest to handle.That whole night, after reaching home, I cried and cried, just loitering around the house in anguish and pain. I had the impression that I was in for a long, dark journey with no idea what lay ahead.

The following day ,on the 9th of January was even scarier. I was informed earlier that you would be taken to the Operation Theatre for brain angiography. I was in the hospital, waiting to hear about the outcome of your brain angiography. Till 6 o’clock in the evening, there was no news concerning you. I kept enquiring the OT nurse about you. She informed me that you hadn’t been taken out of the OT. My mind was beginning to crawl with fears and anxieties. I was distraught and in panic. The OT nurse then called me at around 6:30 pm and took me to a room. I could sense the worst as I was sitting alone in the room. At that moment, I was terrified and utterly shaken.

Two doctors entered the room and sat in front of the table where I was sitting. One doctor started talking to me about the procedure they had to perform on you. They said that you had an atrioventricular fistula in your right brain which had to be repaired, otherwise the bleeding was profuse. The procedure went well, but you have not yet regained your consciousness from the anesthesia. They were very uncertain about the outcome and that you might have slipped into a coma. They told me that they were expecting the worst scenario, maybe brain death. My whole world was shattered at that moment. I was almost lost and could not stop myself from crying. I was in a complete state of shock. The doctors and staff did try to console me. Jan, our elderly friend, explained to me to take things practically and control my emotions. I called our son, your brother, and my family and informed them regarding your state. I was told to return home and was assured to be informed of any further developments regarding your state. When I got home, it felt like the longest night, the darkest and scariest night of my life. That whole night, I grasped onto my mobile, waiting for any news about you.

On January 10th, I came to the hospital and was informed that you had been shifted to the ICU. The doctors told me that they had to drain a huge bulk of fluid from your brain and that your vitals were stable. I was informed that your MRI scan showed a sub-arachnoid hemorrhage, which got worse due to a congenital defect of the AV fistula. Such cases are rare.The condition was worse as you had hydrocephalus, so the fluid had to be drained to reduce the pressure.

The first time I saw you in the ICU with a ventilator and machines, drains, and drips all over, it was really hard for me. I went near you and called your name. You did respond with a little movement of your right hand. I was relieved and was happy as I could see little hope of light after these 2-3 hard days. That day was quite positive for me as the doctors were happy with you for being responsive to the treatment and procedure. But then, they still reminded me about the uncertainty of your condition. There was still a huge amount of fluid left in your brain which had to be drained continuously. You were still in a comatose state, with a low score on the neurological scale. I was told to call our immediate family members from India as your chances of survival were low. I called our son, back in India, and asked him to pack his bag to come to the Netherlands. I also informed your family and mine regarding your present state. I called your employer and informed them because they had been trying to reach you for the last 2-3 days due to your professional obligations. I also informed my project coordinator and let go of the project that I was doing.

After going through all the procedures of an emergency visa, our son arrived on January 14th. This was a life-changing event for him as well, as he had been very close to you, his father. He did go through an emotional roller coaster during those turbulent days. And, seeing you in that state, he had acted very mature and calm. He has been my biggest support through this storm. Our neighbors and friends have also been very supportive through the difficult time. Your employer has been a great support system for me and our son. We will always remain grateful to everyone who has been there for us through those difficult hours.

You stayed in the ICU for almost 2 months. Everyday, I visited twice, once in the morning and then in the evening. During my time spent with you in the ICU, your eyes remained close most of the time, but you do respond to my touch with right-hand finger movements. Some days were good and positive, while some days were scary. Our son, too, visited you in the ICU. But, he had to leave as his exams were approaching. Your neurological state improved slowly and your vitals were stable. You had gotten out of the ventilator. They decided to shift you to the rehabilitation centre after you regained consciousness.

I was initially quite optimistic and excited about your development and recuperation during your time in the rehab facility. However, because the prognosis was poor, we, also had to deal with a number of setbacks in that situation. Your severe cognitive impairment and short – term memory problems were not responding well to therapy. Your left side is completely paralysed, and there is no recovery. You still struggle with a few cognitive issues. However, you continue to make good progress in terms of your awareness, speech, memory, and physical development every day. Your speech is clear and concise at present.

After more than a year, you are still residing in the rehabilitation facility, and your therapies are still ongoing. I see you almost every day of the week. While we converse and laugh on certain days, other days are sad when therapy doesn’t work out. As I’ve come to terms with your situation, I’ve begun to feel content. My greatest satisfaction comes from watching you smile while I am with you.The hardest lesson life has taught us today is to be cheerful in the moment we share together right now because we don’t know what the future has in store for us. When I see you now, hope is the only thing in which I will still believe and live.

 

Silent Saturday 🙌

Hello everyone ! Have a wonderful weekend 🙋🏻

Some random clicks of mine….

 

 

Thanks for reading.

Blessings and much love to all 💐

https://1ebe8azgthl-ykqqpg-si0l4yb.hop.clickbank.net/

Vincent Ehindero Award: 1 and 2 🙌

Hello everyone ! Have a wonderful and safe day 🙋🏻

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I am very delighted to announce that I have been nominated for this award, twice by 2 wonderful bloggers Ritisha of https://ritisha.blog and  Anushka of https://4anushka22.wordpress.com. I am very thankful to both of them and wish them great success. Both of the blogs are very interesting and insightful. Friends, do visit their respective blog whenever you have time.

Now, coming to the award, the rules are

  •   Thank the person that nominated you with a link to their blog.
    • Make a post of the award (with a photo).
    • Post the rules.
    • Ask 5-10 questions of your choice.
    • Nominate 10-30 other bloggers.
    • Follow Vincent Ehindero at vincentehindero.wordpress.com (to qualify for free blog promotion and shoutout and more blogging opportunities).

This time, I am answering Ritisha’s questions as I have already answered Anushka’s questions in another Blogger award.

The Questions:
1 What is your favourite aspect of blogging?
My favourite aspect of blogging is that I have learned to be more expressive when it comes to writing. Another aspect is that I have learned so much from the different variety of posts on different subjects from my fellow bloggers.
2 What is your favourite social media platform, and why?
I am not a fan of social media. But since, I am blogging, I have started to give attention to my different social media accounts.

3 Are you more of an indoors or outdoors person?

I am both an indoor and an outdoor person. I, enjoy both the spaces at different time.
4 Tell me a weird fact about yourself!
As I age, I have learned to be spiritual and keep listening to spiritual talks.
5 What is your favourite season?
I love the springtime as Nature is at it’s best. This time around, due to lockdown, I have missed the pleasure.
6 What is your favourite memory?
I do have some beautiful memories of my childhood. Another beautiful memory is when my son was born.
7 Cats or dogs?
I love dogs.
8 If you were an only child, would you wish to have siblings?
I have 2 siblings. When it comes to my son, he never wanted a sibling.
9 What is your favourite ice-cream flavour?
I love the chocolate flavour.
10 What three wishes would you ask from a genie?
As of now, I would always ask for a beautiful, green planet with peace and harmony and of course Coronavirus free.

As for the Nominations, it is very difficult to choose any name. I love and respect each one of my fellow bloggers. They are all so wonderful people. I am privileged to be with them under the same platform. Therefore, I nominate all of them. Whoever feels, can take this award and answer the same questions as above.

Thanks for reading.

Blessings and much love to all 💐

 

 

 

 

 

Blogger Recognition Award 🤗

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Hello everyone ! Have a wonderful day and stay safe 🙋🏻

I have been nominated for Blogger Recognition Award by Anushka of https://4anushka22.wordpress.com. I am very thankful to her for the nomination. Though this is not a real award, it is still an acknowlegment by your fellow bloggers which means a lot to me.

Anushka’s https://4anushka22.wordpress.com is a beautiful blog which expresses her thought process of this life journey. Friends, if you have not visited yet, do visit her interesting blog.

Regarding this award : What are the award’s rules?
1. Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
2. Write a post to show your award.
3. Give a brief story of how your blog started.
4. Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
5. Select up to fifteen bloggers you want to give this award to.
6. Comment (or pingback) on each blog to let them know that you’ve nominated them and provide a link to the post you’ve created.

How did I start blogging?

I am a doctor, a health professional who worked in various health-related sectors for a long time. I was always keen on wanting to do something on my own. I started writing medical and health-related articles and publish them on random sites on the internet. When I started getting views and comments, I felt that I should follow my passion more sincerely. Then, when I started my blog and took writing more seriously.

Advice to new bloggers

I think ‘patience’ is the keyword. You need to have patience. Any skill, be in writing/blogging need much time to develop, grow and polishing which happens only after a course of time.

Success and failure are both temporary. If you love writing or love your passion, it’s the courage to continue that matters. Therefore, encourage yourself and encourage others to continue their journeys by supporting your fellow bloggers.

I, admire and respect all my fellow bloggers, not just those who follow my blog but also those who do not. I learn everyday something or the other by reading their posts. So, whoever read this post, please regard yourself as a nomination and feel free to do the award.

Thanks for reading.

Blessings and much love 💐

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post :Sunshine blogger award 4th 🙌

Hello wonderful people ! Have a great day 🙋🏻

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During these troubled times, with news coming around of Corona Virus outbreak from all around the world, everyone seems to be in a panicky state. But yes with precautions, friends, don’t forget to appreciate and enjoy this beautiful journey called life. Because difficult times do not last long and hopefully, this will pass too. Our prayers and well wishing for those who have been affected.

My post is to announce that I have been nominated 4th time for Sun Sunshine Blogger award by Ceridwensilverhart of https://illuminatingthefoolsmirror.wordpress.com/author/ceridwensilverhart/. I am very thankful and grateful to her for the nomination. She owns a beautiful blog that features on various subjects on literature, traditional folklore and Mythology. I find her blog posts very interesting to read. Friends do go through her blog if you like reading these interesting kinds of stuff. Now, for the award…

The Rules

Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
List the rules and display a Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.

The questions:

1. If you get all the items on your to-do list crossed off, what do you do?

This happens rarely with me. But yes, when it does, I would like to spend the time watching a movie, a comedy preferably. Mrs Doubtfire, Little Miss Sunshine are some of my favourites. Otherwise, I might end up strolling in a park or shopping as I love doing it.
2. What is a food or drink that you really enjoy but you know it’s not good for you?


Hot chocolate and Cheesecake.
3. Do you prefer to talk things out or silently mull?
I would always talk things out when it comes with my closed ones like my husband, my mom or with my son. With others, if it is hurting, I prefer to remain in silence.


4. How often do you look at the stars?
Yes, very often when they are there. I simply love Nature at any time, any day.
5. Given the choice, would you rather travel by car, by public transportation, or on foot?
Depends on the distance. If it is nearby, I would prefer going on foot. Otherwise, I would travel by car.
6. Where do you go barefoot?


I go barefoot to my place of worship. I am a Hindu by faith. I also love walking barefoot on the green grass if possible.
7. Would you feel more nervous walking alone at night down a city street or a country path?
I would be nervous about going alone on a lonely night, down a country path than walking in a city street where there are people around.
8. What device would you have a hard time living without?


I would be upset about living without my iPhone. But, if at all necessary, I can manage without it also.
9. How often do you read translated books or watch subtitled film?
I somehow, don’t enjoy reading translated books or watching movies with subtitles. I feel,that I miss the originality of the text or content.
10. What is one thing that surprised you about blogging?
That with blogging, you become more expressive, more empathetic and a better writer.
11. If you could pick a legacy to leave behind, what would it be?


More than anything else, I want to be remembered by my near and dear ones as a kind, loving person.

Now for nominations: I love and have great regards to all my fellow bloggers and those who follow my blog. So, I feel it is unfair to nominate some and leave the rest. Instead, I would prefer to nominating all of them. So, whoever like to take this award, feel free to do so. You can answer the same questions to those that I have answered.

Thanks for reading.

Blessings and much love to all 💐