Blame it on human nature, we have been self-critical, not once but several times, not on a single day but very often. Why do we do it? Is it right to be self-critical? How can I stop myself being self-critical? Why are we so harsh on ourselves? Am I not human, who can be flawed yet successful? Who can make mistakes in life and learn from them? Who can change and improve slowly? Why can’t I be compassionate and empathetic towards myself? Is it so hard?
When you are self-critical, you are in a negative frame of mind, you take things negatively, you are too harsh on yourself and judgemental. Such individuals lack compassion not on himself alone but also for others. He is too judgmental and cynical on himself and also of others. Being self-critical is so harmful that you have no room for self-improvement and progress in life for fear of failure. Such individuals end up having low self-esteem, isolation, depression and loneliness in the long run.
Therefore, how can I change my attitude towards being self-critical? 3 interesting ways.
- Understanding “self”: Develop a solid understanding of “self” as an individual, the understanding of self-concept. Who am I as an individual? Understanding “self”, in all aspects, your physical self, your social self and your competency self, that is your ability to provide yourself with necessities of life. Accept and acknowledge both your strengths and weakness. Understanding your purpose and motives in life is important. Once you accept your uniqueness, you won’t compare yourself with others. Because comparing yourself with others is often a reason for self-criticism. Each one of us is embarking a unique journey through ups and downs of life.
2. Worthiness: It’s important to know your self-worth and self-value to avoid being self-critical. I am using both terms together as they are often interconnected. When you have a sense of self-worth, that means you value yourself. Acknowledging your capabilities, your qualities are important both in personal and professional life. This is related to all our thoughts, emotions, behaviours which are related to our worthiness and value as an individual. When you do that, there is no room for comparison, competition, jealousy for other’s success or achievement. When you start being empathetic towards your self, you are empathetic towards others too. This is important because, we as humans always deals with humans everywhere, people, places, work, home, society. This makes life easier and smooth sailing.
3.Positive attitude: Wisest way to deal with self-criticism is changing and keeping a positive attitude towards it. Instead of carrying a negative mind frame, whenever, I am self-critical, I need to remind myself that it is a way of self-improvement and self-analysis. I need to develop, nurture that aspect of my life which help me in my growth both as an individual and performing life necessities. The message should be clear in my head, that I, myself work upon, wanting to bring about a positive change in me for my growth and benefit and not for someone’s else.