Post: 3 basics of a balanced life.

When your mind, body and heart are in a balanced state, you feel more free, calm and grounded.
A balanced life cannot have set standard rules for everybody. What work for me may not work for you? So a balanced life cannot be followed according to a rule book but instead can be created by each one of us in our own life.

For me, like many of you, balance life is a balance of personal, professional and social life. It is also a balance of mind and heart, both practical and emotional aspects of life.

In life, it is important to remember, that like time, energy is limited. When we feel that any aspect of life is consuming too much attention and energy, it is time for a change and correction otherwise it will affect the life’s balance.

Imbalances not only affect the mental health causing stress, anxiety, sadness or unhappiness but also affects the physical health causing sickness and diseases.

Many successful people and business leaders have been giving their success formula, their tips of creating a balanced life in the form of books, interviews, lectures. But do they really work for me or you? Each one of us leads a unique life, and it is up to us to create a balance in our unique ways.

3 basics which go to create a balanced life :

1.Set Priorities: It is important to acknowledge my priorities and boundaries. At whatever age or stage of life, we are, it is important to know which aspect of life such as professional/financial, personal, family requires more attention and energy. Accordingly, we need to divide our focus and plan. It is important to have goals and aspirations in terms of career/ finance but also keep a balance on the personal/family life. Too much attention on either side may create a whack. Be it personal, professional, social life, it is important to set our priorities right.

2. Self love and care: An important aspect of balance life, is taking care of
your physical wellbeing. In spite of your daily grind, you should always take out time for yourself. Practically speaking, if you don’t have physical wellbeing, how will you cope up with everything? Meaning your professional or personal/family life or grinding towards your goals and aspirations. Taking care of yourself, eating healthy, maintaining an active lifestyle are all very important for good physical health. Whatever be the day , good or bad, always keep loving yourself and stick to your healthy routine.

3.Enthusiasm for life : In today’s stressful life with continuous adversities, it is very important to have an adequate mental balance. Keeping an open mind, carrying an optimistic attitude is the best way to approach and deal with life. Things don’t turn out always as planned. Although you keep thriving for your goals and success, you need to have a bigger purpose in life. Life is not only about materialistic success. And it is too short to live with regrets and unhappiness. Some day, even if you may achieve your career success, you may not feel happy or contentment in personal life. So, it’s important to create a balanced life on every aspect of life to experience peace, calm, happiness and sense of fulfilment. So, enjoy and live life to the fullest.

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Post: Dealing self-criticism. 3 interesting ways.

Blame it on human nature, we have been self-critical, not once but several times, not on a single day but very often. Why do we do it? Is it right to be self-critical? How can I stop myself being self-critical? Why are we so harsh on ourselves? Am I not human, who can be flawed yet successful? Who can make mistakes in life and learn from them? Who can change and improve slowly? Why can’t I be compassionate and empathetic towards myself? Is it so hard?

When you are self-critical, you are in a negative frame of mind, you take things negatively, you are too harsh on yourself and judgemental. Such individuals lack compassion not on himself alone but also for others. He is too judgmental and cynical on himself and also of others. Being self-critical is so harmful that you have no room for self-improvement and progress in life for fear of failure. Such individuals end up having low self-esteem, isolation, depression and loneliness in the long run.

Therefore, how can I change my attitude towards being self-critical? 3 interesting ways.

  1. Understanding “self”: Develop a solid understanding of “self” as an individual, the understanding of self-concept. Who am I as an individual? Understanding “self”, in all aspects, your physical self, your social self and your competency self, that is your ability to provide yourself with necessities of life. Accept and acknowledge both your strengths and weakness. Understanding your purpose and motives in life is important. Once you accept your uniqueness, you won’t compare yourself with others. Because comparing yourself with others is often a reason for self-criticism. Each one of us is embarking a unique journey through ups and downs of life.

2. Worthiness: It’s important to know your self-worth and self-value to avoid being self-critical. I am using both terms together as they are often interconnected. When you have a sense of self-worth, that means you value yourself. Acknowledging your capabilities, your qualities are important both in personal and professional life. This is related to all our thoughts, emotions, behaviours which are related to our worthiness and value as an individual. When you do that, there is no room for comparison, competition, jealousy for other’s success or achievement. When you start being empathetic towards your self, you are empathetic towards others too. This is important because, we as humans always deals with humans everywhere, people, places, work, home, society. This makes life easier and smooth sailing.

3.Positive attitude: Wisest way to deal with self-criticism is changing and keeping a positive attitude towards it. Instead of carrying a negative mind frame, whenever, I am self-critical, I need to remind myself that it is a way of self-improvement and self-analysis. I need to develop, nurture that aspect of my life which help me in my growth both as an individual and performing life necessities. The message should be clear in my head, that I, myself work upon, wanting to bring about a positive change in me for my growth and benefit and not for someone’s else.

Post:4 ways of dealing with emotional sensitivity. How do I learn to be thick-skinned?

“As a highly sensitive person, every little thing elicits a strong reaction in me.”

― Tracy M. Kusmierz,

When it comes to dealing with life challenges, being thick skinned, is said to be wise. But is it not right to express your authentic feeling? Expressing your true feeling makes you the most lively and compassionate human being. Being sensitive doesn’t make you a weak or broken individual. Many successful people who happen to be sensitive have been very successful like Steve Jobs or Albert Einstein.

Psychologically, a sensitive person can have any personality trait. He or she can be either extrovert, introvert or in between. Sensitivity doesn’t make you a disadvantaged individual. Being sensitive to some extent can help you both in personal and professional lives.

The most important quality of a sensitive individual is you can easily empathise another person. You are more compassionate in dealing with matters. You tend to listen and understand more to other people’s need.
But yes, overstimulated or hyper reactiveness can have some negative impacts. You are more anxious and tensed up easily. You can get easily hurt and focus on negative thinking. You can never let go of your stress and pressure. You tend to always compare yourself with other people’s life and success. You harbour a fear of rejection in whatever you do. You tend to take things personally.
Being hypersensitive can be even more harmful leading to looming sadness, depression and suicidal tendencies.

So, how do I deal with my sensitivity in my day to day life? 4 ways to tackle this trait of yours.

1.Firstly, self-accepting the fact that yes, being sensitive is quite ok. Self-acceptance would help you to use sensitivity as your strength rather than a weakness. Being empathetic would help you resolve matter easily in both personal and professional field.

2.Self-assessment is important. Writing down or keeping yourself tracked in whichever aspects you are more emotional and sensitive would be wise. Identifying the triggers of your sensitivity would be very helpful. Being aware is the key. This will let you overcome the anxiety and tension and will help you understand yourself better.

3.Take things slowly and calm down. When you are clouded with anxious thoughts, you are unable to think clearly. You tend to get more sensitive and ruminate. So, take things slowly, breath, relax. So, once mentally, you are stable and cleared out, you realise, things are not that serious as you thought of.

4.Let out your emotions. Hiding your true feeling or tuning it down doesn’t do any good to both your physical and mental health. When you feel the hurt, pain, anger, let out your emotions. This will help you feel much lighter. Letting out emotions help you to move forward, take decisions further.

Post: 3 complex realities of emotional insecurity.

No theories to date can explain the complexities of the human mind and its responses. Each individual has his or her share of emotion and fear. Some express it while some keep it to themselves. The underlying cause of all emotions is mostly fear. Fear of failure, loss of loved ones, worthlessness, loneliness and so on.

This underlying fear is expressed in a person’s behaviour and personality often as anger, hurt, sadness and arrogance. Therefore, emotional insecurity is psychologically dealt with as a borderline personality disorder.

3 important realities.

  1. Any unpleasant event in childhood, physical attributes, disturbed childhood maybe some of the reasons to contribute to emotional insecurity. These fears and insecurities get resurfaced when we run towards our goal or success in the life journey. When we get into a relationship or try accomplishing a certain task, we come across our fear or insecurity. When fear, insecurity becomes overpowering, such an individual cannot take up failure so easily. Such a person easily collapsed into depression, drugs and drinking.

2. Many of us have our image of perfection, be it in a relationship, at work, success, materialistic life. Wherever we go, our insecurities follow. When insecurities are overwhelming, the person would exhibit in terms of conflicting behaviour, anger, hatred, aggressiveness or jealousy in whatever areas his fear exist. Strangely, he becomes vindictive in attitude and tries to show up his best image of perfection. But in the process, his conflicted state of mind not only affect his life and also ruin his personal relationships, job or success.

3. We all have fear and insecurity. As long as I can control my mind and fear, it doesn’t affect my life much. So self-realization is an important aspect. Understanding and acknowledging my own fear, insecurity, help me to move forward in life. Self-acceptance and self-reassurance are important keys in building up of my emotional security and overcoming my mental barrier. We need not be preoccupied with the idea of perfection of an image in a relationship, work or success. With an emotionally secured mind, I can be happy despite my circumstances.

Post: Is perception a reality? 4 interesting facts

Most of the time, why do we feel we are misunderstood?  Why do we feel that we are judged continuously by people around us?  Why do we feel often that people don’t get my true feeling or true intention?

All these questions have one answer. It is because of my own thinking pattern and behaviour and not because of some problems with them.

Yes, people judge me and make an opinion about me what they see and hear from me. I, do the same. Nobody has the time to sit down and analyse my true intention. 

The truth is …

you can change people’s perception by changing your behaviour or do

not get affected at all about what people perceive about you. 

4 interesting facts about perception.

1. Perception is simply how an individual thinks or become aware through the senses. It is a model created continuously by the brain to perceive reality. The thinking pattern differs from individual to individual. So, the same event can be perceived differently by each individual depending upon his thinking pattern and interpretation. 

2. Perception is something that developed and changed continuously as we grow up. It has grown with the awareness and understanding of the external world as we grow up. Anything in the external world, objects, events, people are attached to some kind of stimulation, organization, interpretation, evaluation and memory. 

3. Perception is often mistaken as reality as we get so involved in our perceived thinking of people, places and things around us that we create altogether a different world. May not be the real world as it is. Then perception becomes our reality. In other words, perception is our concept of reality.

4. There is no wrong or right things in life. Whatever you choose to do, depending upon your perception, you are responsible for its outcome and consequences.

Post: 5 reasons why depression is more prevalent in women.

Depression, in medical terminology, is a mood disorder with a persistent feeling of sadness, hopelessness and irritability. It affects both the gender. Depression affects approximately 19 million adults age 18 and above every year (source Mental health America). But studies show a gender disparity with women affected more than men.

Women suffer twice the rate more than men.
The age group of girls 14 to 18 years consistent higher rates than boys of the same group.

Depression most common in women in the age group of 25 to 44 years.

5 possible causes;

1Hormonal changes and fluctuation is a contributing factor. Hormonal changes started during puberty increases the risk. Girls attain puberty earlier than boys. Teenage girls suffer more from identity crisis, newly acquired sexuality, coping with parents, and academics.

2.Hormonal variation during the menstrual cycle, premenstrual symptoms may cause irritability, fatiguability and emotional reactivity. But they are mild and short-lived. In some cases can be severe, leading to Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).


3. A different milestone in a woman ‘s life being pregnancy, postpartum phase, perimenopausal and menopause causes the risk to be high. Estrogen level slowly, significantly reduces and progesterone level rises. Progesterone level stimulates the stress hormones more unlike in men. Infertility, miscarriage, unwanted pregnancies also contribute.

4.Psychological causes like women tend to over think, ruminate more causes to negative thinking. Rumination and recurring thoughts can lead to tensions, anxiety, sadness, bouts of crying.

5. Social causes like troubled relationships, divorces, physical/sexual abuse, and societal stress like domestic responsibility, work pressure, low self-esteem. Eating disorders like bulimia, anorexia due to fear, anxiety, social phobia, dissatisfied physical appearance are very common in women.

Post: 7 tremendous benefits of a particular breathing technique (Kapalabhati)

I have been a yoga practitioner for years. It has been very instrumental in overall wellbeing in my life.
Kapalabhati in Sanskrit means ‘skull cleaning or shining’. It is a breathing technique practised as Pranayama in yoga. Though the word sounds awkward, it is a breathing exercise of successive, rapid, forceful exhalations followed by brief passive inhalation.

The procedure is quite simple:

  • Sit comfortably in Padmasana or simply legs crossed.
  • Rest your hands on your knees.
  • Follow your normal breathing for some time.
  • In a quick moment, contract your abdominal muscles, and forcefully exhale air from both of your lungs.
  • Then allow air to fill your lungs slowly without effort.
  • Perform this cycle for 10 times at a stretch, then return to normal breathing. With daily practice, the cycle can easily go up to 120 times with each round.

Since this is an ancient old practise, in spite of having tremendous benefits, it has some contraindications.

  • Not to be practiced by women who are either pregnant or during menstrual cycle.
  • As there is too much of abdominal movements, not to be practiced by someone having abdominal hernia.
  • Not to be practiced by a person with slip disc, back pain or neck injury.
  • If you suffer from acute respiratory infections, it is better to rest, and let the infections go before doing any Pranayamas.

This practice has ample benefits. 7 important ones are.
1.It is a very useful tool to release congestion and volatile toxins from the body. It also cleans the nasal passage and respiratory system. It is powerful detoxifying method.

2.Since there is a contraction, relaxation of abdominal muscles, it stimulates and improves digestion.
3. It increases heart rate and blood circulation.
4. It is known to reduce stress, anxiety and tensions.

5.The endocrine system and glands are stimulated and regulated.
6.Since you focus entirely on your breathe, your mind gets rid of unnecessary thoughts, hence helps in concentrating. Therefore, a useful tool during the examination.
7. This breathing technique helps to treat diseases related to the nervous system, endocrine system and mental health.

Post : 5 ways to improve my self image.

Self-image literally means one’s personal view of oneself in regard to physicality and personality traits. Psychologically, it’s our ‘self scheme’ our own information of different traits that we perceive about ourselves that are already stored in our memory. 

3 dimensions of self-image are :

  • My personal opinion on me
  • How do others perceive me?
  • How I want others to perceive me?

As a positive self image can be favourable, advantageous, a negative self- image can be self – hurting, low self- esteem, low self -confidence, self -critical and pessimistic. Interestingly, many people have both, more or less depending on the different traits they have. 

5 ways to improve my self image in my everyday life.

1.Self – acceptance is important. Loving and accepting the way I am, will make life less complicated en route to the ups and downs of life.

2. Building a self – image realistically based on my strengths and limitations will increase my self- regard rather than based on idealistic views as nobody is perfect in this world.

3.It is important to keep a level of self – awareness to make a continuous effort to evolve as a better person to experience peace and happiness in life. 

4.Whatever good things and success have happened in life so far, enjoy to the fullest, build up more positive energy and move ahead. 

5.Every individual is unique. Never compare your success or failure with someone else. This will lead to shallowness and insecurities. 

Chasing my material goals and success is good, but at the same time, experiencing my emotional state of self achievement and fulfilment is motivating.  



Post:10 tips to slow down ageing.

10 tips to slow down ageing.
Ageing is natural so inevitable. But why ageing occurs ? Our body is made up of a community of living cells, functional units which function individually as well as in harmony with one another. The basic cause of ageing is cell damage. Each living cell continue to replicate again and again. But with each time, the cell dies and replicate, the telomere in the DNA strand of cell shortens. So as ageing start progressing, the telomere start shortening. The old cell function slowly and start declining. This telomere of cell can determine our actual biological age.

Other important factors of ageing are free radical damage, exposure to heat, radiation, sunlight, emotional stress and unhealthy lifestyle. Inspite of all these factors, the question is, can we slow down ageing ? The answer is yes. We can control some of these factors and slow down the ageing process. 


So, comes the key points to at least slow down this natural process…

  1. First, the most important key is loving yourself beyond anything . Love yourself and accepting the way you are. This gives you an immense strength to take care of yourself, your body ,mind  and soul. Once this feeling is ingrain in you, you will naturally take utmost care of yourself and also the people around you. 
  2. More than physical stress, emotional stress is the commonest cause to trigger ageing. Troubled relationship, work stress, lonliness are some common triggers. Try look out for solutions whenever you are in a messy situation. Maintaining a calm mind, would surely give some solutions. Hard times do come. But good times always come. Once you move on from your mental stress, not only physically, as well as mentally you will start feeling better. 

3 Completely avoid a sedentary life style. Follow a routine exercise regime. Any form of physical activity like walking, jogging, gymming, cycling are all beneficial. Yoga is a very useful form of practise. Sometime, due to time constrain for busy work life, routine exercise is difficult , then incorporate more and more physical activity like climbing stairs, body movement to keep boosting the body’s metabolism.

4.Maintaing a healthy lifestyle is very important to slow down ageing. Life style factors like smoking, alcohol and sugar intake should be reduced. Avoiding them completely, is a boost to slow down ageing. 

5. Eating habits should be routinely scheduled. Have meal at regular timings with no intermittent snacking. But yes, a fruit or handful of nuts whenever hungry is just normal. Try drinking plenty of fluids, mainly water. This gives you a naturally glowing complexion. 
6. Meals should be composed of good portions of veggies and fruits which would give you the natural dose of antioxidants to combat the free radical damage.

7. Greying of hair is normal. Nutritious food and fluid intake regularly would surely enrich your hair texture and prevent hair fall. Coconut and almond oils are good for head massage as they help in hair growth. Too much of hair colours and chemical treatment can prove harmful in the long run.

8. To keep your skin look younger even when ageing is the diet and a good night sleep. Big portion of fresh fruits and veggies with fluid intake daily would surely help. Do follow your routine skin regime to keep your skin clean and hydrated. Organic /nature based products are good for skin. Applying sun screen lotions and wearing protective clothing during sun exposure are beneficial for skin.

9.Follow your hobbies, passion or any interest you have. This gives you the freedom of expressing your thoughts, emotional outlet to let out. This also gives you joy and peace within. To age slowly, mental calmness and peace are very important. 


10. Lastly, give yourself a few minutes everyday, to meditate, to go within, to the person you are, or the one you want to become. Money and materialistic success are not enough for a calm and happy state of mind. Be grateful always, spiritually, stay connected to your higher self, for having a beautiful life. 




Post: Self healing….

Self – healing

Your body has the unique power and capabilities of self healing. No matter what you are going through, your body has the power, knowledge and wisdom to heal on its own. Its time to start exercising this ability…

The hidden truth about our own body is it has an innate capacity to heal on its own in all possible ways. Our body is not a single entity, in fact it is a community of 50 trillion cells which are in harmony and work through a single guiding voice, our mind. The mind and body has a natural homeostasis to keep us in a healthy state of being. The body does not go where our mind doesn’t take it. But then, why do we fall sick ? It is because due to our daily routine stress and a host of emotional and physical strain, this homeostasis is disrupted. Hence, comes the disease state ranging from common to severe illnesses. Therefore, our normal state of being is completely disturbed. So, when this happens, awareness of this state is our first intention.

Firstly , be aware of the internal or external factors that must have led to this imbalance. By simply being aware, we can slowly curb those factors from our life by conscious efforts. Slowly, we should try to restore back the natural balance in our mind and body, our natural state of being. Trying to focus on healthy choices in our routine life with a positive frame of mind. Once, this is done, our body starts healing on its own. Its spontaneously goes into a state of recovery. Thought ,this is not an easy task. Our belief to heal ourselves is the only driving force.

This is very unusual for an experienced medical professional like me to emphasise on self – healing. But, in reality , this is a genuine fact. Healing of any sort of illness happens when we believe that we can heal. Doctors and drugs can only facilitate the process. But the biggest problem here is that we don’t trust our mind and body. We don’t trust our abilities.It has been in our subconscious mind that have been installed from our very childhood, if we fall sick, we need to visit a doctor, pop up a pill or need an external agent to heal. This has been hard-wired in our brain. So, every time, we feel unwell, we need some external agent to feel better. Above all, our mind is constantly nagged by a negative force, limiting beliefs, tons of garbage of wrong perceptions which we may not be even aware of. All these reasons clubbed together made us impossible to heal. 

Healing becomes very difficult, not just physically but even mentally.In fact, even without any physical ailment, we tend to feel sick because of our mental state. So, the simple tip to lead a healthy physical life is to have a healthy mind. If we have a strong, healthy mind, any kind of physical imbalance can be corrected eventually. In our daily routine life of physical exercise, activity, at least some quantity of time is required to slow down , to meditate and relax our mind. If not possible in the daytime, at least before going to bed or early morning before starting the day.At the end of the day, we know, life is beautiful and short. And we have tons of reasons to be grateful for.

Continue reading “Post: Self healing….”